Top 5 Calculus Battles

Top 5 Calculus Battles


We are veterans of the Great World War Calculus Survivors…you could say Today we’ve gotten together to Recount the battles past fought In our efforts Against Calculus Perhaps one day, our children may learn from our mistakes And not repeat history Number 5 Ah yes, Trig What a formidable foe We knew how to derive…trig equations Easy! Sine becomes cosine Cosine becomes negative sine But we underestimated them We forgot about inverse trig! There’s like uh a fraction or something? There’s a 1 somewhere… And then there’s a plus It’s a negative *Arguing* Yea it’s a ratio A ratio??? We don’t have a ratio? *More arguing* Okay listen There’s a “tan” so there’s a t, so like a + on the bottom I’m pretty sure it’s just like…..1 … *Wheezes* Number 4 Roses are red Violets are blue You integrated correctly But you forgot part 2 They always tell you not to forget the constant of integration Your +C Always remember your…. *Knocking* How are you? I’m fine, you know… I just I forgot the cookies I FORGOT THE COOKIES I forgot the cookies Number 3 Alright So I got a story My girlfriend She had a Math II test She’s has to borrow my calculator Because, you know Her’s was dead she didn’t charge it so uh I let her borrow my calculator You’ll never guess what they use in Math II It’s degrees! They use degrees yeah YOU KNOW WHAT WE USE IN CALCULUS KIDDOS? WE USE RADIANS! WE NEVER USE DEGRE- Number 2 There I was sitting in class And there she was…talking I-I heard her And the words were coming out of her mouth They were all English, well as English math can get I just couldn’t take them in Ask her about it! It’s better to ask questions in class than to put yourself at the mercy of the question on the test! Number 1! So you guys remember the precalc final? Thought to yourself Thank god that’s over It’s never over, kids Don’t forget precalculus until you’re done with calculus Even then, even after that? It might be back to bite you in your- Don’t forget precalc Don’t forget precalc … So first you gotta get your red lipstick Red symbolizes your calculus teacher’s pen on your test You gotta use a lot of red pen I mean, ha, red lipstick ‘cuz there’s gotta be a lot of red pen on that test I broke this lipstick *wheezes*

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