Dear Con Man Games, I know that Kindergarten 2 JUST came out, But I’m still playing it and I may, like, have an idea for a topic for that in the future. But, now is not the time. Because I need to go ALLL the way back to Monday, and talk about Kindergarten 1, because as I was replaying it with anticipation for the release of the sequel, I happen upon the scene where Nugget hands you a, well, a chicken nugget to eat. [STEPH AS NUGGET:] Remember the taste of the friendship nugget. [AUSTIN:] Okay, just calm down there, buddy. Anyway, it turns out that this chicken nugget, should you eat it, is poisoned. Which Nugget uses as leverage during lunchtime to get you to give another poisoned nugget to the school bully, Buggs, in exchange for the antidote. Which you either do, or you call Nugget’s bluff and find out that NOPE. He was not bluffing, and if you don’t get Buggs to eat that nugget, you WILL DIE. The poison is real. Dope, you know casual five-year-old murder. Really nothing new here on The Game Theorists ANGRY OPERA In any case, this scene is weird, like, it’s weird- It’s weird! I mean, okay, it’s definitely just like weird in a fridge logic way but, like, what kindergartner has access to poison?! and an antidote, seriously?! Nugget is five, maybe six and yeah, He’s a bit strange, and obviously, this game takes place in some bizarre Quinton Tarantino alternate dimension, where the primary currency is ultra-violence, and, yeah, a kindergartner having access to poisons is probably the last thing I should be worrying about in a game that has Cthulhu aliens and Yu Gi Oh cards that can summon the Apocalypse, but I CANNOT help myself. I am broken inside. 🙁 So, you know, I started researching poisons, because I just REALLY wanted to seal the deal with the NSA. And you know what? After researching this for tiring 30-ish hours, doing dosage math? I have learned a lot of terrifying realities about our world that make me want to NEVER go outside again. So, could Nugget, a kindergartner, have access to a poison strong enough to kill Buggs? AND if so, what poison could it possibly be? AND would he be able to get his hands on an antidote? Let’s find out together! Because the answer to this simple question is surprisingly complicated, deliciously mortifying and chemically fascinating! [MUSIC] The first thing I did to begin to get to the bottom of this nugget problem, was NOT to research poisons but to order myself some chicken nuggets. NOT because I wanted to eat them, I’m more of a double quarter-pounder with cheese guy, no. I wanted to get a handle on the scale first. This is gonna be helpful for us to keep in mind the context of the various doses with the various poisons we are going to be talking about today. Also, and I do hope this goes without saying, please do not poison people. Anyway, I weighed my nugs to get a sense for the average weight of chicken nuggets and it appears to be 13.25g, which we’re going to use as a unit. One nugget equals 13.25g I did a lot of research into toxins and there are some things I could rule out right off the bat like animal venom! You see the general distinction between a venom and a poison is that venom is injected into your body, directly to cause harm. Meanwhile, poisons are harmful, If you swallow them. Some venoms can be poisons, but almost all of them are, well… I mean, you’ll never find a doctor is going to advocate that you swallow snake venom But generally speaking they simply aren’t as harmful, and they may actually be harmless if swallowed so not a great poison So after that I just started ruling things out Tetrodotoxin is a no because it has no antidote and it’s only found in pufferfish Hemlocks are incredibly toxic rest in peace Socrates and can be found literally everywhere But actually kill you too fast and have no known antidote in fact a ton of poisons got ruled out because they have no known antidote poisons with antidotes are super rare the whole Hey, I poisoned you but I have an antidote that will magically cure you thing is pretty much a complete fabrication by Hollywood You know what TV show actually gets it right Breaking Bad puking popping a pill and then still needing Extensive medical treatment is basically what most poisonings look like This is actually what ruled out my favorite pick, Botulinum toxin because it’s actually super abundant it’s the primary toxin used in Botox and see most potent toxin on earth as little as 23 nano grams or 3 to billionths of a nugget of this toxin is enough to basically Instantly kill you the toxin is produced by bacteria. That’s literally everywhere the spores need to be in an anaerobic or oxygen-free environment to release a toxin though Which makes poisonings pretty rare is a rule but it’s the leading cause of botulism a really common form of food poisoning The thing is it has no known antidote! (Well this is a mystery..) So scratch out nugget rotting a giant pile of nuggets in this cave to cultivate super toxins… and then I suddenly thought to myself Cyanide. That stuff that is famously all over in our food specifically in apple seeds although in very small amounts. and a Kindergartner who totally have access to those and it turns out well, no kind of sort of we’ll get there I need to take a breath for a second by looking at a picture of puppies before we move on to talking about poison some more, Aww he’s so cute! *unholy noises* All right, let’s do that thing or we cut to black in time with the music before we talk about lunchtime. *Silence* We need to talk about lunch and not just because I’m hungry Something we haven’t done yet is establish how quickly nugget’s poison works because some toxins can work within Seconds while others take hours or even days so we have to establish a time frame for how quickly it’s working. Let’s review our chain of events during morning time nugget will feed you a poison friendship nugget during lunch He uses his fact as leverage to make you feed a poison nugget to Buggs Nugget claims that the chicken nugget he poisoned you with had a smaller dose in it than bugs his nugget, but it’s still fatal he estimates so you have until the bell that Signifies the end of lunch rings until you keel over and he’s not wrong if you give bugs the poison nugget He dies by the end of the lunch period in the United States kindergarten lunch periods are about 30 minutes technically, bugs can die in the space of one consumed apple which since there’s like five apples per period is about Six minutes. Meanwhile you die in the space of six Apples which is about 40 ish minutes bugs can also take about 30 minutes to die So there’s some wiggle room and since poisons are imprecise and vary in effect from person-to-person news actually makes a lot of sense and thankfully a 30 ish minute fatality time is consistent with the toxin we’re about to discuss cyanide which brings us back to apple seeds and it turns out this whole cyanide in apple seeds thing is Sort of kind of true apple seeds don’t have cyanide in them per se what they do have is a chemical compound called Amygdalin, which is what’s known as a cyanogenic glycoside And it makes more sense. If I just show you this right here is amygdalin, which by itself is actually pretty harmless But you see this bit on the end right here right there. This is cyanide, and when amygdalin reaches your intestines the process of Metabolizing it breaks off this part and it starts to distribute itself throughout your system And this has poisoned people while apple seeds have very very very small amounts of amygdalin in them, the apricot kernels have a much higher percentage by volume and some people have bought them to eat for their super debunked and fake Medicinal property of curing cancer over zealous people ate too many of them and got cyanide poisoning the good thing for us, though Is that cyanide does have a pretty effective antidote, that’s Relatively attainable if you know where to look up it’s a combination of amyl nitrite sodium nitrite and sodium Thiosulfate all of which are kind of easily findable and you can reverse the symptoms So basically anyone on earth all said might be able to help you out now It’s hard to get specifics and apricot seeds have a wide diversity of concentrations of amygdalin in them the average seed weighs point five grams and has approximately 19 milligrams of amygdalin with a fatal dose of about 500 milligrams per kilogram of bodyweight in an average weight of a five-year-old boy of eighteen point four kilograms It means we need about 9,200 Milligrams of amygdalin to kill bugs that is about point six nine nuggets worth over half a nugget but remember that is just the amygdalin dose extracting amygdalin from crushed apricot seeds is a really really complicated chemical process involving organic solvents that are probably above the skills of the average high schooler let alone Kindergartner meaning he’d have to rely exclusively on ground-up apricot seeds. How many would he need? 234 grams worth which at half a gram per seed is over 469 seeds. What does that mean for our poisoning? Well in order to shove a fatal dose inside of bugs if nugget deep fried nuggets made purely out of the seeds It’d still take over 35 nuggets worth of apricot seeds to poison bugs 35 times will we feed him in-game? There is no way. This is the poison that nugget used and with that I thought I was done I felt defeated No Kindergartner would be able to get their hands on a controlled substance very easily let alone reverse its effects And then by chance literally by accident I realized that the answer was staring me in the face the whole time What’s the most important item to pick up in kindergarten besides the Hall Pass and the voice recorder the item that saves you? Repeatedly from the hall monitor the pack of cigarettes… and it may not seem like a big clue to you But that’s why I’m here! The world’s crappiest Detective I’m here to tell you that this pack of cigarettes in the game is the key to everything What’s even more brilliant about those pack of cigarettes is that it didn’t just give me the clue to look into the correct poison but once I started doing all the dosing mechanics, oh I will save that part for later. Let’s get to the meat nicotine Did you know that nicotine is one of the most toxic substances on earth? It’s no botulinum of course But it is very very deadly people that work with pure nicotine have to be very careful If just a little bit gets on your skin it can send you to the hospital I mean in nature it’s used as an insecticide when bugs eat plants that contain nicotine it sends their entire body into a meltdown! They can die within seconds! the average cigarette has 12 milligrams of nicotine in it and a really entrepreneurial Murderous child while they’d have difficulty actually getting a pack or even a full cigarette could just walk around until they found a really full Ashtray and take the cigarette butts home. You know, I’m just gonna say this Nicotine is water soluble and has a higher boiling temperature than water Nicotine fatal doses are hard to get exact numbers on for humans. So to guarantee a bug’s death We’re really gonna have to go with overkill Let’s say 10 milligrams per kilogram, which is about 10 times more and is sometimes cited as a fatal dose But that citation is actually pretty bad and there’s not really a lot of evidence behind it but if we assume their cigarette butt has on average only 5% of its original nicotine extractable by Let’s just say methods that are barely more complicated than boiling water That means nugget would have to go around and find about 300 cigarette butts and put them in a big bag and take them home. That’s actually not that difficult I don’t think I think if you found just like one or two busy ashtrays in town That would probably be enough, but you know, what after Double-checking my math, I realized something nugget did not use cigarette butts He used a fresh pack of cigarettes You know how I know this because it turns out that about 15 cigarettes contains enough nicotine if thoroughly extracted to Poison both the main character and bugs and if you look at the pack of cigarette that you buy in game it only has four Cigarettes left in it. And there’s no way Monty bought that pack himself He found it somewhere somewhere discarded discarded with the exact number of cigarettes that it would take to kill two people Missing and how much nicotine is that? If properly isolated which takes barely more skill than it takes to make a box of macaroni and cheese on the stovetop 15 cigarettes would have a yield of 0.184 milliliters of nicotine or 184 milligrams and how much is that? Four drops. Four drops on a chicken nugget and it works really fast! Nicotine can absorb through your gums, your skin, your esophagus, and your stomach, after eating it! bugs would experience severe abdominal pain which explains the vomiting sweating high blood pressure dizziness increased heart rate seizures eventually all Cardiac arrest this is almost exactly what we see happened to him on screen and those nicotine poisoning have an antidote well kinda it has a combination of treatments one which is a really common first action is activated charcoal pills these pills contain fine carbon powders that have a huge surface area and bind to poisonous substances and absorb them so you don’t digest them all the other Treatment and it is experimental is an application of benzozia- Benzodiazepine *stutters* I’m gonna call it a benzo because I keep mispronouncing it! anyway an application of benzos can mitigate the cardiovascular problems and you know what Nugget has some of those those magic pills given to him by the Principal the ones that calm him down and kind of make him act a little weird and most importantly Totally mess with his memory. These are the major side effects of benzos. They can totally trash your short-term memory So the antidote he gave you after feeding you a poison he made from extracting nicotine from a pack of cigarettes before discarding the rest of them because he’s not a smoker was probably just Activated charcoal and his magic demon pills together. It’s not perfect. Honestly, your character would still need to go to the hospital It turns out that while it’s really really easy to poison someone it is not so easy to unpause in them And how did a kindergartner get a pack of cigarettes even that is hard to say for sure he could have swiped them from the hall monitor who’s always smoking in the bathroom and Incidentally seems to be running low on his supply of smokes or there’s a teacher miss Applegate who also smokes and is high out of her mind on the principal’s pills all the time so who knows! in any case nugget is a Much more dangerous kid than you can even realize by playing through the game. The first time this guy is freaking Heisenberg and I cannot wait to see what he does in kindergarten 2. please don’t poison people sincerely, Austin. *nugget voice* Nugget needs more friends! nugget only needs a few more friends to reach 12 million 12 million nuggets.. subscribe to our channel or nugget will make you eat his Special friendship nugget also nugget thinks you should watch another video about nuggets and nuggets nugget awayy!!! Subtitles by – just look in the desc.